Voices Of My Heart

2008-03-16T22:35:00.008+08:00

Dear friends,

I believe I have not updated my blog for nearly a year now. Life had been really busy, and I had a lot of great experiences. Life is rosy every single day - and I can't stop being thankful. I'm a very lucky girl. :)

I had been living in the Netherlands since December 2006, so it's been 1 year 3 months that I had been away from Singapore. Last year though, I did visit Singapore twice, spent nearly 6 weeks in Singapore around April, and 3 days in Singapore in October. And at the moment, I do plan to visit Singapore soon!!

The Netherlands is a great place to live. I live with my wonderful boyfriend - my soulmate, who is the sweetest man I ever met. The winters here are really cold, but in spring and summer there are many places to visit - Little farms, beautiful flower fields, beach holiday in other parts of Europe such as Italy and Greece. Love the fresh air! Morever I'm learning some Dutch, a little at a time. :)

I am now an international e-Sports reporter. Used to work with the British Company - 4Kings. Since this February, I work with a Danish company - MeetYourMakers. I work from my home in Netherlands. I have my own writing column in our company website where I write a few times a week. On top of that, I am often being sent to gaming tournaments all over the world to do reporting and coverage work.

Here's a list of tournaments and places I had been to the past 1.5 years:

KODE5 2006, September 2006, China - Beijing
Warcraft World War, October 2006, Korea - Seoul
SuperFight II, November 2006, Korea - Seoul
WC3L Season 10, January 2007, Germany - Cologne
Battlenet Season 4, January 2007, Germany - Cologne
SteelSeries Iron Lady, February 2007, China - Shanghai
Warcraft World War, February 2007, South Korea - Seoul
European Cyber Games, March 2007, Germany - Hannover
ESWC Dutch Qualifiers, 20th May 2007, Netherlands - Enschede
Battlenet S5 Europe Finals, 22nd -23rd June 2007, Germany - Hamburg
WC3L Season 11, 22nd -24th June, Germany - Hamburg
WCG Dutch Pre-Qualifiers, 1st July 2007, Netherlands - Delft
ESWC Global Finals, 5th-8th July, France - Paris
Stars War, 12-15th July, China - Shanghai
PGL Season 2, 17th - 26th July 2007, China - Beijing
W3 Summer Grand Prix, 28th-29th July 2007, South Korea - Seoul
Blizzcon, 3rd - 5th August, United States - California - Orange County
eStars, 11-12th August 2007, South Korea - Seoul
NGL-one Season 3, August 2007, Germany - Leipzig
WCG Dutch Finals, 30th August 2007, Netherlands - Rotterdam
Clanbase EuroCup, 8-9th September 2007, Netherlands - Enschede
WCG Grand Finals, 4th - 7th October 2007, United States - Seattle
IEST Tournament, 15th - 23th October 2007, China, Beijing
KODE5 Dutch Qualifiers, 27th-28th October - Netherlands - Enschede
MGC Tournament, 1st - 5th November 2007, China, Wuhan
DreamHack Winter, November 2007, Sweden - Jönköping
IEF 2007, December 2007, China - Wuhan
Intel Friday Night Game, January 2008, Germany - Cologne
NGL Season 4 Finals, February 2008, Germany - Berlin
Extreme Masters and Samsung Euro Championship, March 2008, Germany - Hannover

Tournament name, Country, City.

My boyfriend and I work in the same company, we are always sent away for working trips together, so I have no problem with having to travel often. He's a professional Warcraft III gamer. If you google or search on Youtube, his name is Manuel Schenkhuizen with the nickname "Grubby".

People/fans made a Wikipedia profile for him where you can read here: Manuel "Grubby" Schenkhuizen

Fans posted some of his video interviews and game play videos on YouTube as well. I play Warcraft III too, just not as well as him. :p In February 2007, I was invited to a female Warcraft III Tournament in Shanghai - SteelSeries Iron Lady, where I was placed 2nd - As you can see on the picture to right. :)

We enjoyed all our trips to China, I especially enjoyed shopping in the big Chinese supermarket, where we were able to buy lots of chinese spices and groceries back to Netherlands - where we can cook nice Chinese food at home!

We also visited the Great Wall of China in September 2006, which was a memorable experience. The Great Wall of China is the only structure you can see from outer space!

Here's a video made by ProGamers League tournament for us in Beijing:

PpG and Grubby at PGL

And this is my first self-made video:

Manuel and Cassandra in Der Große Garten in Hannover, Germany

It seems at the moment that the rest of March and April, it consists of only online tournaments for us. For the rest of the year, alot of tournaments don't have a fixed date yet. For now, those that are fixed are:

LAN events coming up:

KODE5 2008,11th May 2008, Russia - Moscow
Blizzard Worldwide Invitational, June 2008, France - Paris
Games Convention, 21st - 24th August, Germany - Leipzig
Electronic Sports World Cup 2008, 25th - 28th August 2008, United States - San Jose

Wow, we are going to Russia! I told my aunty about it, but she told me not to worry because Russia is opening up, and some parts are not communist anymore. She heard that there are tour groups going there, so it should be safe enough. So I guess it should be a pretty nice place to visit, except we would have to go apply for the visa very soon, as we do not know how long the process takes!

Well, that's the updates for now, too much to talk about since I didn't write for nearly a year. Take care all, hopefully, I'll visit Singapore soon!

Greets,
Cassandra

*Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.*

Recently..

2007-05-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

Manuel just left to Korea for Blizzard Worldwide Invitationals this evening. Sent him to the tram station, and then i am all alone in Netherlands. Well.. i'm not really alone. Tomorrow Miranda's gonna bring me shopping in Utrecht, then in the evening Arthur's gonna cook dinner for us! :D Then on Saturday Manuel's mom gonna bring me out to visit some shops that sells second-hand stuffs, and also to look for a frame to frame up my cross-stitch(spent many many days on it.. :p). Not sure what's the plan on Sunday, but i'll most probably stay home, will be watching the BWI games and finals. And on Monday evening Manuel comes back! Luckily he would only be away for a long weekend.. more like 4 whole days.

Wonder if i can watch the BWI games online? WTV? or a certain website? Anyway this tournament isn't going to be easy as all eight players are so good. Namely, Sweet, Sky, Fov, Grubby, Remind, Tod, Moon and Nilk. It's single elimination, so once you lose to someone in a BO3, you are out. Hope Manuel does well!

Had my daily dose of -->"Freaky Factory" game in Neopets. Tried hard to beat my own high score but can't. My high score is 1654. Haha.. who can beat that? ^^ Just realised that i have more than 11 million neopoints now, that's pretty much! Then i played a few games of warcraft, met a certain german player whose first sentence to me is "lol fake ppg". I lost that game.. and i totally lost touch cos' i didn't play warcraft for so many weeks! :p

Been talking to my aunty on msn recently, she asked me why i didn't update my blog and she wanna see some pictures too. Didn't take alot of pictures recently, only some pictures and video clips of Charlize cos she can walk now! Soooo adorable!! And Manuel totally enjoyed his birthday, loves the presents i got for him and also all the other gifts from family members! He didn't want a party, and just want friends and family to visit throughout the day anytime they want. I cooked Tom Yam Macaroni soup for everyone! First visitor was grandma who came at noon. He had a clanwar in the evening too, won against NoA, so 4K advanced to the offline finals! Pro-gamers even need to work during their birthday! :D

Started read this book called "The Rule Of Four" - by Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason. It's a thriller, about two friends who found a breakthrough while researching on one of the rarest, most complex books in the world, the "Hypnerotomachia Poliphili"(This book is more than 500 years old). They suddenly found themselves in danger when a fellow researcher is murdered. Working desperately to expose the book's secret, they slowly uncover a Renaissance tale of passion and blood, a hidden crypt and a secret worth dying to protect.."

I'm still at the first chapter, but the opening seems pretty interesting so far! After reading all four of Dan Brown's books, and not reading thriller for so long, i guess i missed it all along. I still remember those days whereby i can't sleep just because the story is so exciting and i had to read till morning to finish the whole book before i finally drop dead on my bed and sleep till afternoon! It totally destroyed my sleeping times.. the power of such books. :p After Dan Brown's series, i had been reading other kinds of books, mostly non-fiction. Now i am going back to good old fiction books! So exciting!!

Revealing the first paragraph of the first chapter:
Strange thing, time. It weighs most on those who have it least. Nothing is lighter than being young with the world on your shoulders; it gives you a feeling of possibility so seductive, you know there must be something more important you could be doing than studying for exams.

I can see myself now, the night it all began..

And so.. the characters develops.. and the story unfolds.. i hope this is a good book!! :D

Manuel's mom went out for her singing lessons. So lonely tonight.. guess i gonna read in bed and have an early night then!

Going to Netherlands

2007-05-07T05:01:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving the house for the airport in about 13 hour's time! Been busy packing for the past hour. Feeling so tired now. Got to sleep some soon, and when i wake up, i still have to run some errands, like collecting my driving license(I lost it more than a year ago, and i just had it replaced :p), doing some last minute shoppings, finishing up some stuffs, get my maid to help me cook nice hot sambal so i could bring it to Netherlands. :D My luggage is already full, so much things to bring!

Would be celebrating my boyfriend's birthday in a few day's time. I already shopped for his present in Singapore some weeks back(plus my aunty got him a birthday present too, which explains why i have so much to bring). Well, can't reveal any of our presents here, it has to remain a surprise till he opens it on the day itself! ^_^ She is also so sweet to buy 2kg of meat jerkies(we call it rou gan in mandarin or ba gua in hokkien), cos' my previous trip she bought it too, and my boyfriend and his family love it! It's more tasty than their kind of jerkies! I love my aunty!! (Had to say this since she would be checking my blog often! Haha just kidding! :p Truth is that i mean it~ :D)

We haven't done any planning on how to celebrate his birthday. But most probably we'll have two celebrations - to celebrate together, only two of us, and another celebration with his family~ Probably i'll cook and invite everyone over. :D

I hope i can survive the long flight there! It's been 1.5 months since we last saw each other! And it's the longest period of time that we didn't meet. Considering that the previous time, we lived together for 3.5 months - 24/7 sticking to each other like glue, we would think that we could survive 1.5 months apart. But still.. the first two weeks was so hard to bear..! We were going crazy! lol! (Previously the longest time we didn't meet was 1 month.) :( I can't wait to go back into my boyfriend's loving arms! *You too honey?* *wink wink* :D

It's spring/summer in Netherlands now, probably i'll get to see alot of flowers this time! Your mom told me that the flowers are in full bloom and it's so beautiful! I wanna visit a flower field too~~~~ (Gonna take pictures of lots of flowers!) Or honey, we can go to your mom's caravan by the beach to stay there together for one or two days! *fun and romantic* *wink wink* :D

Alright gonna rest some, gonna be a busy day today! Wish me safe trip!

Clubbing at Zouk

2007-05-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

Last night it was Huiling's Birthday! Christine, Winnie, Huiling and me had a girl's night out at Zouk~ It was fun.. we drank Water-melon Martini, hang out and danced~ I reached there one hour later, and their faces were already red from the drinks! :D
Happy Birthday Huiling! ^_^

Through The Rain

2007-05-02T01:31:00.000+08:00

I was in Australia last July.. and here's a beautiful sunset that i saw at "Murray's Lookout", it's on top of a hill with an amazing view!

I remember 2005 as a really bad year for me. 5 family members died that year, i had to go through four family funerals in 2005 alone. Me trying to get over a heartbreak for more than a year.. seeking serenity. It wasn't easy getting over your first love if it lasted 5 years. And me trying to sue a certain magazine for using my pictures without permission, i was under alot of pressure with life's issues and eventually gave up the pursuit. I had a hard time getting used to the big changes in my life. It was scary. When bad things happen to you again and again, you'll wonder.. why? You try and try.. and there are times when you don't feel like trying anymore. And you start to question the purpose of life. What on earth are we doing here?

It's ok to cry. Cry when you need to. Even when things don't work out, when things seem disastrous, when things can't be any worse, remember that they could only get better. Shut out those people who are trying to bring you down. Surround yourself with only people who are brave enough to love and care. Think about what's truly important to you in life. If it helps, imagine if you are dying tomorrow, who are the people you wish to spend your last day with? What would you wish you had or had not done? Have you made a difference in someone's life? Will people remember you when you are gone? If people remember you or misses you, then you will always live on in their memory, even when you are gone. If you had made a difference in someone's life, then your life had not been in vain.

2006 was a better year for me. During New Year's Day, i made a wish to God.. and pray that this would be a better year. Someone told me that if i dwell on the past for too long, i'll always be trapped in the past. I knew i was trapped in the past for too long, not wanting to let go of what's familiar to me. It was scary but also exciting to finally move on. So I was ready to leave 2005 behind me. I wanted get through this. I wanted to try out new things, to do some things for the first time, to live different, to think differently. I immmersed myself in work, travelling, hanging out with girlfriends, reading good books, anything to keep myself busy. It's all good therapy, to get yourself into a good mindset and ready to take on life's challenges again. The greatest highlight of 2006 was getting together with my current boyfriend. It was worth going through all those heartbreak and pain if it means you will eventually find someone so much better. Girls/guys, it's time to let go of unfaithful partners and cheaters. You deserve better. What goes around comes around anyway. You'll survive, trust me. "When one door closes, another one opens. Often you looked so hard and long at the closed door, that you don't see the one that has been opened for you Time is the best medicine. And what doesn't break you will make you stronger.

Here, i dedicate a song to all those who are going through rough patches in life. May you see your silver lining soon.

Through The Rain - Mariah Carey

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught
And in pain without anyone

And you feel so far away
And you just can't find you way home
you can get there alone
it's okay
once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
Once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And should they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I'll live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
You’re gonna make it through the rain.

Christmas Celebrations and Dates - End Dec2006

2007-04-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

Manuel and i had a nice peaceful evening on Christmas Eve, we didn't go out to join in any count-downs or see fireworks. On the the first day of Christmas, mom made nice Christmas dinner! Taco was here too. Then Arthur and Miranda came by later.

Mom and Manuel at the table. Dinner for four. Wine to celebrate~! ^_^

Manuel and i infront of our Christmas tree. We didn't change yet, still in our sleepwear~ :p

Me and Taco at the dinner table~ He has broad shoulders!

So what's for dinner? Yumm.. nice smoked salmon, fish and shrimps! And so beautifully arranged! :)

Fried potatoes/Hashbrowns in different shapes~

Beans, carrots, mushrooms~

Mixed Salads(i love the homemade dressing!) and tomatoes, i forgot the name of the other veggie with cheese~

On the couch after Christmas dinner. Full and satisfied, face a little red from wine~ Picture taken by Arthur/Miranda who dropped by. :)

On the 2nd day of Christmas, Arthur and Miranda is so nice to host a 5-course dinner for us at their place!
Me and Manuel all dressed-up before leaving the house to go Arthur and Miranda's place~

We had a present-exchanging session. Too bad i didn't take pictures of the food because we were too busy eating! :p
That's Miranda, Mom and Grandma at the nicely set up table~ They even made cute little menus for everyone of us! So sweet and innovative!

Grandma, Taco, Jorrit and little Charlize~

Arthur and Miranda busy preparing our dinner~

Peek-a-boo!!

One of the days after Christmas and before New Year, Manuel brought me out on a date to a nice restaurant in Utrecht~ Recommended his brother i think~
And we took some pictures in the elevator because they got a nice mirror there~! So fun! :D

I miss this camera.. t.t I lost it in Germany, Hannover mid March.. *Sob sob*

While dining~

More pictures can be seen at this slideshow--> Christmas Celebrations & Dates - End Dec2006

A Day in Amsterdam City - Dec2006

2007-04-22T16:45:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Manuel's Grandma and Jorrit(Manuel's big brother), for devoting this day to me, and brought me around in Amsterdam. It was really eye-opening for me to see the red-light district and also experience the Amsterdam culture and admire the old beautiful buildings. Well, so on this adventurous day, Grandma, Jorrit, little Charlize, me and Manuel went to Amsterdam City for some sight seeing. We even visit the famous Red-Light District! It was first time for both Manuel and me to be in this red-light district, so it was really intriguing for us. It was actually grandma's idea to go there as she said that the red-light district in Amsterdam is going to be demolished soon, so it would be nice for me to see it now.

The palace is one of the first places we visit~ It's where the royalty of Netherlands still lives~

Here's some sights of Amsterdam City:

This is such a beautiful sight~ :D

This is one of my favourite pictures~ It has a cultural feel to it~ :)

A big Christmas tree in the middle of the city, as Christmas Day is approaching! :D

My honey and me in the middle of Amsterdam city.. and lots of pigeons around us! hehe~

Me and little Charlize~ We even went shopping for a new warm coat for her! It looks like a bunny suit, she looks so adorable~!

Little Charlize experiencing Amsterdam~

Here's some sights of the famous Red-Light District:

There were kinky shops everywhere! :p

Selling all kinds of funny T-shirts too~ ^^
"Good girls go to Heaven, Bad girls to go Amsterdam"

As you can see, they sell all kinds of DVDs and even sex toys.. :p

Peepshow anyone? :p

Can you see him/her in the display window? It's a common sight there. There's nowhere like the red-light district in Amsterdam i guess.. ;)

Manuel and little Charlize~

Little Charlize with her sweet sweet smile!

Then we rested and ate some pancakes. Manuel had the pancake with apples and powdered sugar, and i had the pancake with banana and chocolate sauce~ Yumm.. it's heavenly~ :D

We walked around the shops for abit, and went into a bookshop. Most memorable encounter in the bookshop is to come across this funny joke book. One of the jokes is about Michael Jackson. We laughed sillily at it~ :p It goes like this:

[One day Michael Jackson's wife gave birth to a baby boy. Michael Jackson was concerned, so he asked the doctor:"Doctor, when do you think we can start to have sex?"
Doctor replies:"Well, at least wait till he can walk first."]

;D

Overall, Amsterdam is a nice and interesting place to visit, and i would recommend it to anyone who is thinking of where to travel next~ :)

For more pictures, view the slideshow from here:

Slideshow of ---> A Day in Amsterdam City and Red-Light District

1st Week in Netherlands - Mid Dec 2006

2007-04-20T10:53:00.000+08:00

I arrived Netherlands on the 13th December early morning. I had to wait for my boyfriend at the airport for 2 hours or so, cos' he's returning from WSVG New York~ Hugz him like crazy! :D Then Taco came to pick us up and we went straight home, tired from the long flight. Upon reaching home, Manuel's mom and grandma gave me a little surprise tea party~ With Dutch cakes and snacks! Hehe.. So sweet! The rest of the afternoon is some chatting and Taco and Manuel fixing up the Fata1ity computer that he got from WSVG, as it would be placed beside Manuel's current computer so we could sit side by side playing games~ :D

Then in the evening Manuel's got a clanwar, and i took a little nap cos' i was sooo exhausted! He tried to rush through the clan war as his mom already had dinner cooked for us and waited for sometime already! We had to eat dinner real quick so we could all go to a special event in town. It's the candlelight/Fireworks night~ We cycled there.. Mom in one bicycle, and me and Manuel in the other. On the way, we passed by a windmill, it's the traditional kind! It was the first time that i'm looking at a windmill and i was so excited!

Upon reaching the event, we saw the streets outlined with candles! There are lots of people so the three of us had to hold hands so we won't get lost in the crowd. Here's a picture of the fireworks above the ship~

A few days later we went to Rotterdam to do some Christmas Shopping! Manuel's ex-schoolmate and long-time friend, Tom, is so friendly and nice! He brought us around because he lives there! Here's some sights of Rotterdam~

We stopped by a nice chocolate shop selling homemade chocolates! We bought a box of chocolates for Arthur and Miranda, and we couldn't resist buying one box for ourselves too! It's so nice! ^_^

Manuel and Tom infront of the chocolate shop~

Then we had dinner at a Surinam fast-food restaurant. Manuel and Tom~ *Old buddies*

The packaging is kinda unpractical i'll say. It's shaped like a long box, you have to eat from the top, but the rice is at the bottom!

Manuel, me and Tom~

We saw an asian supermarket too and did some shopping there~ Buying some ingredients so i could cook nasi goreng for him! Nasi Goreng is a Malay word. Nasi=Rice. Goreng=Fried. So it simply means Fried Rice. (Indonesian Style)

Arthur helped to bring a real pine tree home! It smells so nice!

Honey helped me with putting up the lights as it was all tangled up.

Ta-daaa~~ We finished decorating it! YAY!~ It's so beautiful! ;)
According to mom, when all the kids were still little boys, she would take them to the shops every year, each kid can choose one christmas decoration for the tree. So lots of decorations were from way back, there's this little santa which looks so cute! I wonder who chose it? Manuel? :P

Mom receives her christmas present from us~ It's a Bonsai Tree!

Then Mom made us some snacks~

Me enjoying my "Lompiah"~ ^_^

Grandma and little Charlize~

Aww.. she is so cuteeee~!!

I am lazy to post all the pictures here, so you may view the slideshow from here:

Slideshow of ---> First Week In Netherlands - Mid December 2006

Will post more when i have the time~ :)

If Everyone Cared..~

2007-04-18T06:12:00.000+08:00

Honey showed me a video, and i like it so much. The video touched my heart and i had tears in my eyes when i was watching it! It's so inspiring, and you realised how true it is. So many things in this modern world/culture is fake and many things are misleading to today's generation. But this is real.. it triggers the real feelings and goodness in everyone of us. There are really angels in this world~ I would like to share this with everyone~

1984 - Bob Geldof, music journalist turned punk rock frontman, was inspired by a new's report about Africa's famine epidemic, and began his fight against world hunger. Geldof organised the world's first Global Charity Concert - Live AID. Performances by 100 artists around the world were viewed by 1.5 billion people. Live AID raised ₤150 million in one day.

In 1976 - Betty Williams, a receptionist and mother of two witnessed three children killed during the political turmoil in northern Ireland. Within two days of the tragic event, Williams obtained 6,000 signatures petitioning for peace. She then led 10,000 people on a peace march to the children's graves. The peaceful march was disrupted by protesters. One week later, Williams organized another march. This time the march was 35,000 strong. Betty Williams was awarded The Nobel Peace Prize in 1976.

In 1961 - Two students in Portugal raised their glasses in a toast to freedom. They were imprisoned for seven years. British lawyer Peter Benenson was shocked by the events. To rally support for the students, he wrote a letter to his local paper. The response was so overwhelming that a committee was formed to organize the campaign. It quickly grew into a world-wide movement - known today as Amnesty International.

In 1920s - A boy from a small South African village dreamt of a day when equality would prevail over his country. After years of activism, he was charged with "Political Treason", and sentenced to life in prison. His dream of equality never died. In 1990, after 27 years in prison, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was finally released. Mandela then led South Africa to its first ever Democratic Presidential Election. Nearly 19 million people voted. Nelson Mandela won the election, ending the racist apartheid regime that divided South Africa for 46 years.

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
-Margaret Mead

"If Everyone Cared"

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

[Chorus:]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)

[Chorus x2]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

[Chorus]

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

There are people who really made a difference in this world. Even after they are gone, they would never be forgotten. They really lived.. and lived long after they are gone~.. because they touched many hearts and made a difference to the world. It takes alot of courage to stand out and do what they do.. Because of them, life's never the same again. Cheers to the brave special people!!

Dear friends i am back~ :D

2007-04-14T02:56:00.000+08:00

Hey dear friends~~ I am back in Singapore. Was away for 3 and a half months, which explains why i was MIA for so long. During this period of time, i was mainly in Europe.. and some other countries, which i will update probably on my next few posts~ I also changed my handphone number and was unable to tell most of you, except my closer girlfriends since everything was so hectic. If you need to contact me in the meanwhile, email me at cassandrappg@gmail.com

Anyway i came across this and thought i'll share it with you. Lots of us waste paper and hardly helped in any recycling campaign, let alone know the value of trees and nature. Here's to the priceless value of trees, and to the marvelous mother nature:

"A tree Living for 50 years is worth an estimated $196,250. It will generate $31,250 worth of oxygen, provide $62,000 worth of air pollution control, control soil erosion & increase soil fertility to the tune of $31,250, recycle $37,500 worth of water & provide a home for animals worth $31,250. This figure does not include the value of fruits, lumber or beauty derived from the tree".
-Professor T.M Das
University of Calcutta

Will blog again soon~ ^_^

~Memories In Korea~

2006-11-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

I also tried making slideshows with a certain program i found on the internet~! hehe~ I'm still a noob at these html codes...! t.t (But at least i tried! :p)
Here are results of my efforts.. *grin*

Click on -->Korea Memories Image SlideShow (HTML)

Click on(This is a bigger flash file that takes longer to load) -->Korea Memories Image SlideShow (SWF)

Back From Beijing~ ^_^V

2006-10-06T01:11:00.000+08:00

I had a wonderful week in Beijing~ I'm finally back.. i miss my girlfriends~! Anyway, Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to all! There was a family party in my house earlier this evening.. with buffet, lanterns, candles and fire sparklers! Guess what? I counted.. and i got 11 niece/nephews! OMG... they were all running around playing.. (actually only 10 were running around, cos 1 is newborn!)

In Beijing, at times me and grubby had alot of fun reading the warcraft forums.. so much rubbish comments there! So.. we laughed pretty much! :p Someone said i got 9 fingers.. HAHAHA!!.. and then there would be some silly people who would believe! I only dated dayfly for a brief 3 months beginning of this year. In March/April, the decision to stop dating was mutual, no one dumped the other. But funny.. someone in the forums said i dated him for 2 - 3 years and then dumped him. ROFL... :p

I didn't do much shopping in Beijing.. the fashion there not that suitable for me.. or i didn't go to the right places? But did some nice sight-seeing though.. at WangfuJing Shopping District, Great Wall of China and the Ming Tombs. ^_^V

I didn't sleep that much during the last few days in Beijing... So on the 6 hours flight back to Singapore, i fell asleep before take-off, woke up only for a little food, went back to sleep.. and woke up in Singapore! Hehe.. :)

On the 4th Oct, grubby's flight was in the morning, and i had to wait 5 hours for my afternoon flight back to Singapore. t.t Luckily there was an internet cafe on the 3rd floor at the airport. Just pay 80yuan and you can use unlimited internet on a laptop(for the entire day if you want) on a comfortable sofa seat with cushions.. with free flow of any drinks you want(except alcohol i think)~ I chatted with my friends on msn.. and checked my mails.. while sipping green tea and relax on the sofa seat! Nice way to kill time when i'm alone! :p

KODE5 event was fun, and Grubby got 3rd.. i think he would have won the tournament if deadman wasn't on top form! Nice games anyway! :) It's been an amazing week~ And i am all smiles~~ :)

Anyway, Happy MoonCake Festival to all!!! EAT more mooncakes ya~~~ hehe.. :D

*If I know what love is,
It is because of you.
~ by Herman Hesse ~*

And when a hero comes along~ ^_^

2006-09-16T04:22:00.000+08:00

A chinese fan made this for him~ :)

I love this video too~ His surround skills are amazing!! kekeke! *grinz*

Happy Birthday Kelly~!!

2006-08-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

We celebrated Kelly's birthday last night! It was a girl's night out.. Kelly, Christine, Me, Winnie and Huiling~ It was fun and full of laughter! Happy Birthday my dear friend!! You will always be 18.. every year!! *hugz*

I'd Rather

2006-07-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

I'd rather have bad times with you,
than good times with someone else.

I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
than safe and warm by myself.

I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart.

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

And if i can't get my fairytale, i rather not get married.. :D

Random Stuffs on a No Football Night~

2006-07-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

On nights without football.. it feels like something's missing.. haha~

So i spent my time updating my friendster profile. It's been untouched for a long time, lol! I added many pictures.. so there's about 43 pictures in there now! ^_^V
I think the maximum is 50, so the remaining 7 slots, i gonna save for near future pictures! The url i chose for my friendster is www.friendster.com/ppgcassandra (There are other people faking me in there, so only this is real!) :D

Been reading Bleach comics recently.. read up to book 7 so far, it's not bad, story talks about death god and spirits~ Deathnote comics is good too, i'm still chasing the story and waiting for the next book to come out!

I'm also in the midst of reorganising my room. So it's very messy now!! Ahhh~~ But in a few day's time.. it would be perfect! My closet's overflowing with clothes, i got to give some away and throw some. Many random stuffs to throw out too! I should give some souvenirs to my friends~ Hehe~

Current favourite Quote: Life is short.. Work hard.. PLAY HARDER!!

Current Blog Song: Elva Xiao Ya Suan - Wen (Chinese)

Save me Superman!

2006-07-01T03:56:00.000+08:00

It's half-time and Italy vs Ukraine is 1- 0. Found this on the official fifa World Cup webby(at the LIVE match section where they report the match situation to you): "That'll do it for the first half. Ukraine have a job ahead of them, as Italy are among the best in the world at holding a one-goal lead."

Hmm.. how come i find that comment kinda funny and sarcastic? I hope i am not the only one who thinks Italy has a "dirty/cheap" playing style. Well, of course, skillwise, they are pretty good~ Won't deny that.

I watched "Superman Returns" today! It's not bad, just not enough action probably. Brandon Routh's pretty cute.. alright~ But i still prefer watching Smallville! Oh Superman.. save me too! Can you hear me? My heart's screaming for help~ I'm dying~~ T_T

Dreamland time~ Dead tired~

World Cup 2006

2006-06-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

Saw this online, thought it's pretty cute~ :D

1. From June 9 to July 9, 2006, you may have the sports section of the newspaper and any special pullout that comes with it. You shall not have access to the other sections of the newspaper. What good are they when all you can think of is the World Cup. It is a fact that men can’t multi-task. They can’t multi-think either.

2. I will clear out the utility-cum-storeroom and move in the little spare TV so you can watch all the football you want. There, you can vegetate and sprout roots for all I care. Should visitors come a calling, I shall be spared the embarrassment of having to make excuses for an unshaven, unkempt, unsociable misfit.

3. Rest assured that I won’t be standing nude in front of the TV during this period. I know you won’t notice even if I’d had breast enhancement and turned into a D-cupper, as the only cup on your mind is the one in Germany.
Rest assured that this period of abstinence will drag on for another month or more. Once I get used to not having a sleeping partner, it’ll be hard to do a 180-degree turn. So you’ll have to inch your way back into my bed.

4. I don’t expect you to do anything around the house during the games. I wouldn’t ask you to open the door, put the kettle on, feed the dog, water the plants or bring the shopping in from the car. I would not even dare interrupt to ask you to eat, so you’ll have to prepare your own meals when hunger strikes. If you’re too up caught in the game, there’s always pizza delivery. Look up the number in the phone book.

5. There will be no beer in the fridge or munchies in the larder. With you being sedentary, I don’t wish to further jeopardise your health by stocking up on junk food. Instead, there will be plenty of mineral water to quench your thirst with and carrots and green apples to nibble on during half time. If your friends come over to watch the games, you can have your male-bonding sessions in the utility room. As long as you keep the door closed and your buddies spray themselves with deodorant before coming out, I’m OK.

6. If your team loses and I say something, I risk treading on your fragile ego. But if I keep mum, you may think I don’t love you. So I might as well go all the way and say: “Serves you right for supporting such a lousy team. Can’t you see that the champion is a leg up on this? Huh! And you call yourself a football expert!”

7. I do not want scraps of your time and affection. So you won’t see me cuddling up to you during half time like a hungry dog. I will serve time as a football widow and when the World Cup ends, you’ll have to wine and dine me all over again if you want to get back into my good books.

8. You’re most welcome to watch endless replays of goals. See Rule #2.

9. I shall not include you in any social gathering during this hallowed period. I can easily make up excuses for you. However, if you miss your grandmother’s birthday, your parents’ wedding anniversary or your nephew’s full-moon celebration, I shall leave you to concoct your own reasons. Some words of caution:
a) You will be left out of the family will.
b) You will be left out of the family will.
c) You will be left out of the family will.

10. If your friend invites you to his house to watch a game, please go. I will hire a racing car to get you there. At last, I will get some peace and not have “GOAL!” and “Stupid referee!” coming out of my ears.

11. You’re most welcome to watch the daily World Cup highlights. See Rule #2.

12. I will never say, “Thank God the World Cup is only every four years”, because I know after it come the European Championships, Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, Football League, etc. I’ll shut up and let you have your fun while I take your car, cash and credit cards and paint the town red.

Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Women of the World

PS: Enjoy World Cup dudes!! I'll be enjoying the games as well~ Lots of cute footballers huh! Many cute guys running in the field.. girls check out their butts! kekeke!! jk~~ Everyone win more money ya! :D

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-21T19:56:00.000+08:00

I watched "The Da Vinci Code" on friday night with my friends. It was really entertaining from the start to the end~! Maybe also because i am a Dan Brown fan.. i read all four of his books. Namely, Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Deception Point and Digital Fortress. In my opinion it's all very nicely written, with nice twist at the end of the stories. I just love his writing style and the way he inject reality into his fiction books. He describes real places so perfectly.. and makes people feel like visiting those places too! :D Indeed, he makes alot of effort in doing research to write his books, very admirable~ :D He was granted access to the Vatician library too... but now he's probably banned from entering that place. Kekeke! Still, he's a genius writer ya!

There are so many controversies over the release of his books and this movie. There are supporters and haters. But thing is that.. everyone have different opinions.. so please don't quarrel over it. People have freedom to think whatever they want, and as long as you believe in what you think is the truth, that's all that matters~ :D As Tom Hanks (Robert Langdon) said in the movie (towards the end), even if jesus is a man, he is an extraordinary man, and even humans can be divine. :D Well, i do believe angels live among us.. i had seen so many angels in my life~~ They made an impact on me.. and thoughts of them warms my heart during the darkest hour. They are the people who exhibited selfless acts of kindness and loves without conditions. Sometimes even a small act of kindness makes a big difference in someone's life. It's really comforting to know that angels do exist! :D Look around you.. and feel it with your heart~ how many angels do you see?

I had some bible studies when i was in high school, and i know that christians, catholic and muslims.. all believe in the same God, just that they have different interpretations of the bible. For me, though i am a free thinker, i believe in everything~ Kekeke~ I believe there's a God somewhere who made this world so beautiful.. He is the Creator! It is so amazing.. how everything works.. how the plants grow, and our body system~ And look at how beautiful snow is.. and all the wonders of the world~ Nothing beats the beauty of nature~ Everything is a miracle. ^_^

Back to the topic, who really knows what really happened many thousands of years ago? Winners get to write the history~ ;p I guess for me, i am peace-loving~ I don't believe in war. It's really sad to know that so many are dying.. and all these people have families waiting at home for them. Be it a worried mother, a longing wife, soon to be fatherless children.. T_T Seriously, war happens because of the greed of man. I believe all of us regardless of race, language or religion, have a right to live in this world. Instead of fighting among ourselves, we should live in harmony and make this world a better place. ( I mean.. you are not going to kill someone just because he has different thinking as you.. everyone has the freedom to think whatever they want, as long as they don't hurt others.)

Enough preaching today~ Kekekeke! I am off to play some warcraft (war should only happen in games~ kekeke!)~~

My Valentine - MTV

2006-05-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

Old Mtv.. but so nice! I like the feeling they portray. Eternal love! You'll always be my Valentine! :D

My Valentine

2006-05-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

My Valentine - Martina McBride

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine

*What we shared.. it was impossible to get over.. was i silly to think i could? /me hit myself. Did it just got stronger.. or was i the only one feeling this way? But i saw your tears.. i know it's real.. it's real.. :)*

In Philippines - Missing Singapore Food~~ :(~

2006-04-25T20:35:00.000+08:00

I'm in Philippines now.. only been here for a week.. and i miss home food~ To show how much i miss Singapore food, guess what? Today i had Hainanese Chicken Rice for lunch. And for dinner.. i just ordered Hainanese Chicken Rice again.. room service. Just blogging now while waiting for my food to come.. hehe~ Surprisingly.. they can cook really well, so delicious! Their Hainanese Chicken Rice is one of the best i had ever eaten.. chicken is prepared aromatically with sesame oil and herbs! Comes with 3 special sauces and special onion soup~ Definitely worth it! Lunch was at the roof top restaurant of my hotel, and it sure feels nice to finally eat something familiar under the sky.. and reading my magazine~ Yum~~ I miss Fishball noodles, mince-pork noodles, chicken rice, pig organ soup, fish porridge, rojak.. the list goes on.. T_T

I'll go back home on Sunday.. and i gonna have a big meal with my family. With lots of food that i miss!! :D:D

I have some friends coming over on friday. Supposed to go Boracay beach! But... it's the peak season now and all the flights from Manila to Boracay is fully booked!! :( So we gonna hang out in Manila for the weekend and go back Singapore together on Sunday~ Next time i will go Boracay!! ^_^V

Got to eat now.. will blog again soon~

Smokers At Higher Risk for Erectile Dysfunction

2006-04-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

Smoking can shorten lives, and a new study finds it may also hamper men's sex lives.

Researchers say men who smoke a pack of cigarettes or more a day are nearly 40 percent more likely to have erectile dysfunction compared with nonsmokers.

"Smoking accelerates atherosclerosis and is a potent risk factor for heart disease. It just stands to reason that what harms blood vessels in one area of the body harms them in other areas, too," said Dr. David L. Katz, director of the Prevention Research Center at Yale University School of Medicine.

He was not involved in the study, which was conducted by British and Australian researchers, and reported in the March issue of Tobacco Control.

In the study, the researchers collected data on nearly 8,400 men aged 16 to 59 years who participated in the Australian Study of Health and Relationships.

Of these men, almost one in 10 said that he had had erectile problems lasting a month or more in the past year. More than 25 percent of the men smoked. One in five smoked a pack a day or less, and just over 6 percent smoked a pack a day or more, the researchers found.

The researchers discovered that, compared with nonsmokers, men who smoked one pack or less a day were 24 percent more likely to report difficulties maintaining an erection. Those who smoked more than a pack a day were 39 percent more likely to report erectile difficulties.

Other conditions associated with erectile dysfunction included older age and cardiovascular disease. Moderate drinking significantly reduced the risk of erectile dysfunction, the researchers noted.

Katz said that fear of erectile dysfunction might help motivate men to quit smoking. "Perhaps men not motivated to quit smoking for fear of heart attack or lung cancer will be motivated by this," he said. "It may be difficult to quit smoking, but it almost invariably proves far more difficult to live with the consequences of not doing so," he added.

Another expert agreed that smoking increases the risk of impotency.

"Other studies have shown that smokers are likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction," said Dr. Joseph DiFranza, a professor of family medicine at the University of Massachusetts. "It's nice to have another study that confirms that."

"Smoking certainly doesn't make you macho," DiFranza said.

Here's the Link ---> Read more

My notes:

- This is partly why i wouldn't find a boyfriend who is a smoker~

- Other reasons being.. bad health.. bad breath.. bad smell on clothes.. pollutes the air around me(i love fresh air.. don't like second-hand smoke), etc..

- I would want to grow old with him.. of course i would want him to be in the best of health~ :D

- No i don't mind having friends who smoke(i can tolerate it for awhile), it's just my own boyfriend that i mind. I mean, my boyfriend's the one i'm gonna spend lots of time with right? :D

- If a guy wants to go after me, yet he lights up a cigarette in front of me.. it's a big turn-off. I wouldn't want to kiss someone with his mouth smelling of cigarettes.

- All my friends know i would never have a smoker as a boyfriend~ kekekeke~

- Cos truth is that.. it's just me.. from young age, my nose is really sensitive to this smell. If i smell too much of it.. i would vomit. It happened a few times. Once during clubbing.. cos it was too smoky and i accidentally inhaled the smoke directly.

- Don't ask me why i am born having such low tolerance of cigarette smell. I don't know either. As a little girl, i detest the first sight and smell of the cigarettes, before i even know that it's harmful for health~ (There could be some bad experiences between me and cigarettes in my past life?) kekeke~

- Though i wouldn't mind having friends who smoke, i would still wish they smoke less, or better still.. quit smoking if they can! Cos i do care for all their health too! :D

Funny Joke: BUSINESSMAN AND THE CABBIE

2006-04-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

-The End-

Damn, i miss Las Vegas!!! *Jumps up and down* Ahhhh~~!!!

Pool Dive~ Dive License Soon! :D

2006-04-11T01:41:00.000+08:00

Ok.. so i am now halfway to finally getting my diving license! :D

Watched the video tapes at the school.. chapter 1 - 5. And pool dive done!

Uncompleted at the moment:
-Taking some quiz in school.
-Sitting for the exam (must have a 80% pass. means there are like 50 questions, i have to get at least 40 right.)
-Open water dive exam. (Which is in Malaysia, at tioman(Clear water and all.. with lots of fishes and corals! It would be beautiful!!)

Pool Dive experience:
-Swimming 200m non-stop + treading water for 10mins was tiring, esp since i didn't really sleep the night before. But it was nothing i couldn't handle. :D

-So much equipment to wear.. and the air tank is soo heavy! T.T

-me, christine and peihan bought our own mask + snorkel, cos it's more hygenic that way~

-The wet suit was hard to get in.. esp mine was the long wet suit. Everyone got tired just trying to get into the wet suit. Hahaha~

-We learnt many tactics.. swimming with our fins.. snorkeling, wearing our gears, safety checks and safety tips, maintaining buoyancy under the water, clearing water out of our mask when water gets into the mask when we were underwater(it's actually not that hard after all), etc..

-First time i can stay in the water for so long without coming up for air~ fun~ hahaha!

-The air from the tank was kinda dry!

-Under the water.. it's a calm and quiet world~ I can only hear the sound of my own bubbles.

-Nope they didn't teach us how to fight with the shark if we meet one.

On other notes:
-My cousin brother came by with his wife, and was nice enough to bring food for us! Yum.. chicken rice! :D It was him who introduced me to this diving school. He and his wife had been going leisure diving with this school three times.. ever since they got their diving license! He told me his experiences.. sounds so fun!! So i can't wait til my first dive!

-Everyone say that the first time you go for your first dive, your very first sightings underwater is forgettable. That would be the moment you will remember for the rest of your life.

-I had decided that no matter how hard it's gonna be, i'm gonna get that diving license! Fighting!!!

-It's always been my dream to visit the world under the sea. I can't leave this beautiful world without paying a personal visit to the beautiful underwater world~ ^_^ It's a must-have experience! Live life to the fullest~~ YAY~~ ^_^V

-And Christine's going to be the one to experience this with me since she's going to be my diving buddy! Don't worry, i'll protect you with my life if we do meet a shark! I'll use my knife and poke at his eye! Kekekeke!

Warcraft Touch-Screen Panel~

2006-04-06T10:29:00.000+08:00

Check this video out~ This is interesting stuff. This guy actually demonstates how to play a warcraft game using an amazing prototype table-top touch-panel named DiamondTouch, made by Mitsubishi Electric Research Laboratories (MERL).

If you can't hear the guy talking, off the website music by clicking on the "stop" button at the top of the internet explorer(beside the "refresh" button).

It even has the speech recognition feature!
But can you imagine yourself talking to a table non-stop for the entire game? LOL~ It would be hilarious~

In my opinion, this invention isn't suitable to play such fast-paced game like Starcraft or Warcraft.
It's still much easier and more effective using the mouse and keyboard to do our micro!

Well, unless the speech recognition feature can understand and carry out complicated instructions like:
"low blood units, go back to the base and heal yourself, and don't get killed by creeps on the way back!"
"All units get into the best position for fighting!"
"All huntress go put sentinels on every expandsion, avoid enemies on the way"
"All air units go harass the enemies base, take out all important buildings and run away when enemy returns!"
"All land units and heroes go creep and level up, micro yourself, don't let a single unit die!"
"All units engage fight with the enemy now.. micro yourself in the best way such that least units will die."
"All dryads dispel only summoned creatures! (such as wolves, water elemental, hawk etc)"

Of course this is impossible~ LOL~~

What is your true colour?

2006-04-05T11:56:00.000+08:00

A friend asked me to take this test~ "What is your true colour?"
If you have nothing to do~ Try this out for fun! :D

Here's my results:

Your true color is Orange!

Cassandra, your true color is Orange!

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

What's Your True Color?

A very Moving Story~

2006-04-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

Any pet lovers out here? This is a very moving story~ I cried reading it~ Maybe because i'm a pet lover. No matter what.. it's really worth reading!

I hope more people realise that a pet is forever. The moment you decide to keep a pet, you got to love and care for him his whole life. He may not be your everything.. but to him... you are his whole world~

Please pass this on.. :D

How Could You

When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

The End

Princess of Warcraft~

2006-03-24T14:27:00.000+08:00

Haha.. guess what?! I was browsing through the internet yesterday, feeling bored. Then i found this interview ---> Princess of Warcraft from Singapore from August 2004. It was after i was sponsored to Taiwan by Hinet(taiwan company), for warcraft III game. They invited me there to play some warcraft exhibition match. And they also invited korean pro gamers Dayfly[pooh] and Swain[frienz]. (That's the first time i see Dayfly in person.)

So in this interview.. SOC asked me many questions. As i read it again now.. it's so funny! They call me 魔獸公主 (Princess of Warcraft). And they say they call me princess because i won "Best in Swimwear" title in Miss Singapore World 2003. But they didn't mention i also won another title "Miss Crowning Glory". I guess figure matters to them more. hahaha~ And they continue to ask some warcraft questions and personal questions. They even mention that.. many taiwan CS players, after seeing me, they wanted to start playing warcraft! Well, i didn't know how true is that, but it sure sounds cute! kekekeke~ And omg.. the pictures they use.. are old pictures.. some taken from my old blog. The last two pictures.. i don't even have make-up on! omg.. Haha!

Well.. that experience in Taiwan was really good.. my trip was fully sponsored. And that includes shopping too! Hehe~ I made many friends there.. it was a really fun experience. :D Not forgetting that i missed my flight to Taiwan, and they had to pay another $3280 singapore dollars for another air ticket to fly me there.. on business class. I feel so sorry! Omg..T_T But they are really nice people, they didn't blame me, they say they understand. That makes me feel even more guilty! They said they would have given me even more shopping allowances if i didn't miss my flight. I think it's really enough though.. considering that i only had one night to shop, and it's only a few hours. So.. reminds me.. never to buy tickets straight at airport unless it's really really urgent, because it's super expensive! And that's the most expensive air ticket i ever had! :p

One of the questions was, "What's your favourite race, unit and player?" I answered, I like nightelf best.. for units i like dryads.. as for player i like Dayfly! hehe! (Sounds like i admire his super Orc skills since long ago. :D)

My Gaming Passion

People often ask me why a girl like me like gaming and how it started? Well, to summarize, story goes like this.. many years ago i was in Genting Highlands with my family. All the adults were in the Casino playing. I was underaged and can't get in.. so feeling very bored i went to the lan shop to look for my sister and cousin bro. Sister chatting on IRC, and cousin brother was playing half-life. I got myself a computer as well, and i saw this game call Starcraft. So i tried it out.. and i found it so interesting! I got really interested so when i got back to Singapore i bought the game and installed it to my computer. Then i had a boyfriend.. and we started to play the game together, and we went online.. that's where we got to know many other people.. including my aLt clan mates. I fell in love with RTS (Real-time Strategy) games ever since cos it's sooo much fun! Though i am playing warcraft now.. Starcraft is still the best game i ever played. Maybe because i am sentimental or what. Hehe~ This gaming passion started way before i even started joining beauty pageants and going into modeling. It's a good way pass time when you are bored because it's so entertaining and the game keeps you busy. It's a good way to vent your frustrations too.. when you are in a no good mood! kekeke!

Thank you blizzard! You make amazing games and bring many hours of fun and entertainment to many! *hugz* :D

Cute Drawings~

2006-03-21T16:58:00.000+08:00

Look at how cute these drawings are! Haha~ But they are not drawn by me.. they are drawn by my friend Judson. You can visit his website at JudsonJedidiah Portfolio.

This drawing is based on the picture from my previous post! A picture of me cycling~~

^_^V

I am back!!~

2006-03-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back safe and sound!~~ ^_^V Too tired now.. i need a good sleep.. Zzzz

Live Life To The Fullest~

2006-03-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

In my opinion, what Vistra commented in my previous post is really true. His train of thoughts is quite similar to mine. It's exactly what i mean to say. "Sometimes the pace of life in Singapore goes so fast that we hardly know what we are truly aiming for."

It's true.. And i think many people find it hard to break out of their daily routine. They work and work till they are old, and often, they lost track of the true meaning of life. They forgot to live life to the fullest, and by the time they realise that, it might be too late. Life is really so short. Material things are really just meaningless, this.. you will finally realise at the end of your life. And i think love, memories and experiences are everything~~ As my favorite saying goes, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

So, to all people out there reading this, slow down sometimes. Think of what you really want, go after your true dreams. Do not settle for something just because it seems like a safer way or safer choice. Think.. is this what you really want? Is this really how you want to live your life? Sometimes, the only things you regret in life, are the risks that you didn't take. You only have one life.. it's yours to decide and yours to live. Life is short.. live it to the fullest. Cherish the people who love you so dear.. go wherever you wish to go. Ignore and stay away from the people who would put you down or try to tear away your dreams. Those are not acts of true friends. Do not give a damn about the opinions that come from people you do not respect.

Remember, at the end of your life, the only things you can take away with you are only your memories. You may have left this world, but you will continue to live in the hearts of many.. - people whose lives you make a difference in. :D

Quote: *Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it any other way.* -Yogi Desai

Snowing heavily now~!

2006-03-13T09:28:00.000+08:00

Who told me it's spring here? Omg.. so damn cold everyday... more cold than january when i came here. How could it be possible? Winter's supposed to be over right? It was snowing when i was playing at the theme park yesterday, but luckily i was pretty much done playing and preparing to leave soon.

And now i just rushed back to my hotel in the heavy snow, after my breakfast. I want to go another city today, but it's hard to move around with my luggage, especially when it's snowing like this. So i am stuck here.. luckily there's a PC in my room.. haha~ I am enjoying a nice glass of grape juice in the warm comfort of my room while blogging. ^_^

I just checked the weather, it's also snowing at the city i am going to, i wonder if i can still go shopping? Implusively, i extended my trip by another two days. Just withdrew more money for shopping :p I know when i get back to Singapore, there would be so much for me to do. There's a new maid in my house because the old one is problematic and we had to send her back. And i have to catch up on work and many things. But life's good this year.. i am so thankful. I intend to take things easy and enjoy life. After all the crap last year, i learnt to see things in a new light. Life, is really not about how much materials you have in life. You may have a nice house, a nice car or many expensive clothes or jewelery, but does it mean you will be happy? Most of the times, i think the more you have, you more you are afraid to lose. It's inevitable feeling this way. The more attached you are to material things, the more blind you are to the real meaning of life and happiness. So people, slow down.. take time to travel.. see more of the world, experience more things, breathe the fresh air, love and care for the people around you.

When i get back, i gonna
-get myself a nice new bicycle.
-finish reading all the books i bought.
-reorganise my room.
-spend more time with my family.
-do more drawing.
-do those art and crafts i had been meaning to do, but never tried to find time for.
-do more blogging.
-think and plan my next trip.
-the list goes on..

Got to pack up and brave the snow to go another city now(wish me luck.. hope i don't freeze to death).. blog again when i can! ^_^

Omg.. so COLD!!

2006-03-09T14:12:00.000+08:00

It's so cold everyday!! My fingers are so numb.. i wish i brought my gloves! Now.. i really really appreciate Singapore's hot weather, at least Singapore's warm weather won't kill you.. i think this kind of cold weather can! T_T

It's not for sure, but i might be extending my trip for another two more days. So far it's been fun, i went mountain climbing yesterday! The scenery is so breath-taking! The only setback is that i had to suffer the cold weather. It's my fourth time to this country, twice i came during winter and once during summer. But i was always well prepared for the winter because i always know how cold it's gonna be.. at least -10 degrees celsius.. sometimes with the snow all that.. could be colder. This is my first time here in spring, and i really didn't expect it to be still so cold. T_T After some hours outdoors, i always feel like going back to the warmth of my hotel already. Seems like i can't do much in one day.. so i am taking my own sweet time, it's relaxing.. :D

I brought the wrong handphone charger! So sad.. i am so disconnected from all my friends, work, singapore and etc! Not disconnected from home though.. cos i still call home sometimes.

Will blog again when i can.. My dear friends.. i miss you all.. really~~ T_T

Nearly Missed My Flight!!

2006-03-07T08:30:00.000+08:00

I finally got to my destination safely.. :D

Omgomg.. i nearly miss my flight on sunday night! My plane is due to fly off at 11pm.. and guess what time i got to the airport? 10.45pm!

I did last minute packing.. so i got out of my house late.. but the cab driver was so slow! And that's not all.. the driver asked me what time is my flight.. i say.. 11pm. Then he say i sure can't make it.. cos i had to be there at least around 9 plus. The things he said was so discouraging. Then he tried to make conversations.. i was already in a very anxious mood, and i don't have the mood to chat. I would have entertained him if i was in a better situation. I wish he would stop talking and concentrate on driving faster. (If i known the cab's gonna be so slow.. i would have accepted Liguang's offer to send me to the airport lor.. T_T)

When i got there, they closed the counter already. I was like.. omg. GG! Then i saw the staffs still there.. talking. So i rush over and say.. "i want to check in!" Without hestitation i pulled my luggage over. Surprisingly.. one guy told the other guy.. "re-open flight". I couldn't believe it.. they really did it. I am so thankful! Omg.. so happy.. and i ran all the way in to my gate! ^_^V

Thank you Asiana Airline! You are the best!! People.. please take Asiana Airlines in future if you have a choice yo! When i was in Korea in January.. i missed my flight back to Singapore. Firstly.. the queue at the Korean Airline counter was so long.. when it was finally my turn, it was only 30 mins before the plane take off. I didn't expect that would happen.. the lady actually told me that she can't get me on the plane because everything has been finalised. So she changed my flight to the next day. So i stayed an extra night in Korea~

Going sight-seeing today~~ Weather still so cold! I thought it's already spring.. but yesterday it was drizzling.. and the raindrops is like snow! 50% water 50% ice actually. I only bring thin jackets.. thought winter's over already~? T_T

Will blog again when i have the chance. Miss you my friends! :D

Going on a Trip~~

2006-03-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

I am going to the airport now! Take care my dear friends.. i'll miss you guys! Christine and Kelly.. i just realised i forgot to tell you i am going on this trip.. oops. It's a last minute trip.. but i'll only be away for about 8 days. I'll miss you! Will try to get something for you guys if i have time to shop.

My primary school friends, Liguang, Zhongrong, Peihan and Zhiyi! It's been so fun hanging out with you guys these few weeks! You always crack so many funny jokes.. make me laugh like mad! hehe~ I love you all and i'll miss your jokes!

Shuyan.. i'll have to meet you when i get back. And my other friends too..

No time now.. gonna be late for my flight. Hopefully i get back to Singapore safely.. with lots of pictures to share! ^_^

By the way.. there's something wrong with my website hit counter? Omg.. last night it was only 700+ or 800+ hits? Today it's 1765 hits?! It more than doubled overnight.. weird right?

Will blog again if i am free on my trip.. seeya soon~~ Please wish me a safe trip.. :D

My Birthday Celebration~ ^_^

2006-03-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

At dinner.. a happy Christine and me~

Me and darling Kelly~

After dinner we went to MOS.. it's candy floss night!! ^_^V

We enjoy the candy floss so much! hahaha!!

A pic of Christine and Kelly.. enjoying Cotton Candy~

Kelly and me~ Why is her cotton candy smaller than mine? She eat too fast! hehehe!!

Yummy~~

Let's party~!

What did she say? She says.. "i wanna kiss you!" LOL

We open a bottle of Chivas.. and can't finish it.. hahaha~
At the end of the night.. i think i was quite drunk.. hahaha~ When i got home, i found some of my eyeliner smudged under my eyes.. i was a mess.. OMG! hahaha~!

Funny faces!

It was a happy night~

Later part of the night.. When Kelly's darling came to look for her.. she was already quite drunk.. haha~

And then.. we have our second helping of Cotton Candy! Kelly said she don't want.. so i took one for Christine and one for myself..

After that.. Kelly tried to steal my cotton candy!
But.. since she quite drunk.. i let her have her way~ -_-

Oh~~ I have birthday kisses too!

From two gorgeous girls.. with love! V^_^V

Happy Birthday to me~!! ^_^

2006-03-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

I am so happy today! Just an hour after midnight.. i already received many birthday well-wishes message to my handphone! Thanks my dear friends! Of course at the same time.. some msn birthday well wishes too. And i received a love letter email for my birthday! *blush* So happy today.. ^_^

Yes i am home at 12 midnight~ Haha.. didn't celebrate much today.. only eat steamboat dinner with family. Tomorrow afternoon, i'll treat whole family to pizza. And in the evening, Christine and Kelly gonna treat me to dinner at a nice restaurant. I don't even know where yet.. they don't wanna tell me. Christine say she will reserve table first, then tell me. Hehe~ My dear girlfriends, no matter where you bring me for dinner, i'll still love you! It's the thought that counts! ^_^ After that we are going to MOS(Ministry of Sound) to party! YEAH~! Just so happens that on my birthday, 1st March, MOS is holding an exclusive I'M GORGEOUS themed party! They are giving away free candyfloss and lollipops to all lovely ladies~ Yummy! Both Christine and i received the Invitation Mail from MOS.. and she said when she saw the invitation, the first thing that came to her mind was "Candyfloss and lollipops.. so Cassandra!" Hahaha! Yeah.. babes~ We gonna party! ^_^v

Life's good this year.. so far it's alot better than last year. 2005 was a really bad year for me? In a way.. yes.. i would have said so. So many bad things happened - five of my relatives died.. all in the same year, can you believe that?.. and there's the famous man's magazine who put my picture on their cover page without my permission.. i made a big fuss and it came out in the newspaper, they said they do not need my permission to do so.. but readers would be happy to know that both me and the photographer already received our compensation. Then.. there was alot of bad blood between me and my ex-bf.. it was a 5 years relationship yet it was hard for us to even remain as friends. I guess we were both at fault. But when i think back.. there are many lessons learnt. What is life without some sorrow? Would one be able to appreciate all the good things in life if he had not been through some hardship? Would one cherish the true and good people around them if they had not experienced the bad and mean ones? Would one know what is true happiness if they had never been down? Everything happens for a reason. I am thankful for all the things that happened to me, including the bad ones - because they made me appreciate good things even more. I had been through pretty much last year.. but i came out of it as a stronger person. As the saying goes "What doesn't break you makes you stronger.* I find that so true~

Having some relatives passing away so suddenly in the same year, my family became more united and they realised life is just so short.. they learn to enjoy life more and cherish the people around them. As for mistakably being a man's magazine cover girl, i came out as stronger person.. and the lessons learnt - that's priceless. As for the bad blood between my ex and i.. We both had done things to hurt each other. But although the relationship had gone bad in the end, i'll still remember the happy memories of the first few years. We were so so happy.. life was without troubles.. and we would hang out together every single day.. we were like best friends.. we tell each other everything.. We took take of each other, went through thick and thin, we laughed, we cried, our love ran deep - that's priceless too. Though the relationship ended on a bad note, i believe we both came out of it a more matured person. After we broke up, he told me that he never told me this before - but my smile is the sweetest smile he ever seen. And i cried, even though i promised myself to never cry again for this man. Love's funny.. it's illogical at times.. well.. actually.. - most of the time. :)

As for me.. each and everyday, i am learning to be a better person. :)

Ending this post.. Here's some quotes that i find meaningful:

*If i could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but i would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.* -Allyson Jones

*May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.* :)

My Drawings~ :D

2006-02-24T06:37:00.000+08:00

My very first post! Since i like to draw.. here's some pictures of my works over the past two years. It's a nice hobby.. other than Warcraft~ :D

This is the girl from IS comics..

The main character of EIJI comics.. cool dude! ^^

From LoveHina.. This drawing's one of my favourites :D

From LoveHina~

It's Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi!! OMG!! He is my dream guy~ *smiles dreamily* :D:D

Different angles of my dream guy~ hehe~

Tamahome when he's only 10~

Some characters from Fushigi Yuugi.. in school uniform.

Same as above.. and the girl at the left is the main female character.. Tamahome's girlfriend.

Just a sexy pic.. look like hentai? LOL~

Last but not the least.. this is my very first portrait drawing. A guy who meant alot to me many months ago. :D
Since it's my first try at portraits, it's not so good.. But i suppose i will improve with more practice! Ganbatte! ^_^

*Voices Of My Heart*